The Lord's Breaking Point

"My body lied to me"

--J. Bradley Eustice

The above quote is incorrectly cited, but as it has become a colloquialism between me and my roommate of close to three years, I felt it safe to credit him. The quote was first heard some years ago in a sacrament meeting talk given by a now forgotten high council speaker. But his words still live in Brad and me.

In the talk the speaker spoke how he had gotten out of shape, and was trying to get back into shape by taking time every morning to hike Provo's Y Mountain, an unsheltered switchback trail that climbs some 1,700 feet to the top of the mountain's iconic giant Y painted in its face. The man began by just hiking to the trailhead from his nearby home; then, after some time, he gradually worked his way to the top of the first switchback. Then, the second, the third, and so on until with ease he could hike every morning to the very top. Many times in this progression he wanted to turn back, feeling the pain of an aging body which seemingly would not go another step. Yet somewhere along the way this man realized that his mind was a much greater gift than his body, and that it had dominion over the second; in his moments of languish he recalled telling himself, "my body is lying to me." Every time that he rehearsed this self-talk he was able to persevere, and make it just one step further than he had gone the day before. This high councilor probably does not know the effect that he had on us; we learned the power of determination--a patient persistence until a once insurmountable goal is reached.

Now, I do not suggest that we all try to tell our bodies that they are lying to us at every moment--this would surely lead to fatigue, strain, and maybe even heartache; moreover, this was not the lesson that this good brother was trying to teach us. Rather, it has to do with our perceived "breaking point," and the braking point that the Lord sees fit for us.

I have felt this over the last several months as a new graduate student with high aspirations for the future. Wanting to glean the most out of every moment, I have loaded myself with activities, assignments, papers, presentations, grants and research. There have been many times when I thought that I was at my own point of breaking, feeling that I would not be able to take anything more. But then again, this has most often been after the manner of my own understanding. I am reminded of an old scripture loved by millions in the Christian world:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
--Proverbs 3:5-6

These simple words seem to be a fix for the most complex of situations, as all it takes is for us to trust that the Lord has great things in store for each and every one of us as we follow Him. But we must trust that his breaking point for us will in truth not break us, but will make us stronger, humbler, more full of love, and in the end greater instruments in His hands. I find solace in the words of Ammon, who surely was extended beyond his breaking point, even unto the depths of humility. Nevertheless, he was made strong through the Atonement of the Savior. He said:

Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

--Alma 26:37

I know that the Lord know each and every one of us personally. He knows us much better than we know ourselves, even so much that he is mindfully aware of our weaknesses, strengths, and capabilities. this gives me hope for a better day, not so much when my burdens will be lighter, but when I am able to uphold them with greater faith and trust.

It is my prayer that we may all seek to meet the Lord at where he would like us to be, knowing that the pain and trials are nothing to the Savior, who has descended below it all. Let us not lean on our own understanding, essentially lying to ourselves concerning of that which we are truly capable. Rather, let us have charity in our hearts toward all men, seeking to endure well the trials that present themselves in this life. Therein will we be made whole, enabled to be and do so much more than we would have ever imagined for ourselves.

Have a great week!