This
week I’ve had the opportunity to continue reading in The Mindful Therapist as a part of my personal readings. I’m currently reading about “attunement,” or
the act of focusing our attention on others, thus taking in the essence of
another to our own internal world. The
author, Daniel Siegel, contends that this is a second essential step after we
are able to “presence,” or become fully aware of the internal world that we ourselves
own. Attunement is likened unto picking
up the signals of another, and then monitoring our own internal shifts in
thought and emotion, all the while staying attuned to changes in the individual
to whom we are tuned in. This seems like
quite the task, but I side with the author in believing that being able to do
so is an essential tool for any psychotherapist.
As
I’ve struggled to learn both how to manage my own emotions along with
understanding the thoughts and emotions of another, I’ve noticed how very important
it is to be still, calm, and quiet in order to best “hear” internal human
workings. I think that our society as it
stands today masks these workings, and we all too often don’t even realize they
exist, and wonder why marriages fail, why anger governs much of the world, and
why values that have been common standards for millennia have only over the
last half century really gone into decay.
I believe that a big part of this has been our society’s insatiable need
to be faster, more productive, and to get ahead just a little each day. While progress is essential, I believe that
we have sought material progress more than personal progress of late, which has
corroded at our ability to presence and attune.
This reminds me of one of the themes expressed by President Dieter F.
Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:
“Isn’t it
true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a
badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign
of a superior life.
Is it?
I think of
our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of
Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or
multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.
I can’t
see it.”
There are
many things that are essentially eternal about therapy, and attunement is
surely one of them. We each have a piece
of godliness within us, but how often do we remember it? I’m reminded also of the Nephites who
survived the tempests and earthquakes that marked the Savior’s death…these were
the most righteous who were preserved from that continental cleansing, yet
still when the Father announced the appearance of his Beloved Son they didn’t
understand the words until the third time in which they were repeated. Though they were good, they didn’t have their
spiritual ears on. They were not able
perceive the sacred, as they had not yet experienced it. In like manner, there
are not many things in this world that are more sacred than the subjective
experience of another, which as therapists we are charged to enter, responsible
for helping another be still, understand this experience, and change their
thoughts, feelings and behaviors as a result of this understanding. What a great honor!
My hope is
that as I learn to do therapy in this manner that I will be still, and that I
will be able to see the godliness in my work.
I am grateful for this time that I have as a student to perform such a
sacred work, and hope to be able to learn how to help bring a little more good
into the lives of those individuals who suffer more than I will likely ever
understand.
It is my belief that while being a therapist is right now my calling in life, we have all been called to lift up another in a way that only we can fulfill. We are placed in families and societies with the end of interacting with and helping one another. It is my testimony that as we strive for stillness that the Spirit of the Lord will speak his purposes to us, and if we have courage to follow, will be led to places where we may be able to serve and be instruments in Christ's hands.
Have a Great Week!
